Advice for the Lawlorn: Finding a Balance

New York Law Journal


I'm a lawyer and a parent of two small children. I support the family while the other parent stays home. We like this arrangement and, also, my family comes out ahead financially this way, given the cost of daycare. I have been offered a public sector job would hold great personal meaning to me to perform and is fairly well paid, as public sector jobs go.

Unfortunately, the job would mean a move to a major metropolitan area where costs are high and traffic is heavy. I worry that accepting this job is not the best option for my children, because, if I were to commit to the private sector, I could supposedly make more money and, if I were to commit to staying in a less urban area, I could spend less time in traffic and more with my family. I am simultaneously drawn to this job and afraid to take it. What should I do?

Thanks in advance for any advice.


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Dear Arranged:

As far as I can see, there are a number of solutions to your dilemma. Before you can make any decisions, you need to explore several different options.

First of all, it seems as if you really want to accept this public sector job – it holds great personal meaning to you, it sounds as if it is challenging and lastly, the pay is good in terms of public sector jobs.

All of this is so very important. Your reasons for wanting to accept the job are strong and valid. And I think I can help you overcome your concerns. But before I weigh in with my opinions, let’s take a look at your concerns.

It seems as if your major concern is having to bear the cost of living in a major metropolitan area, taking on a long commute to and from work and, consequently, having less time to spend with your family. These are very valid concerns.

What's being said

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    I like the pro con list advice but be careful about deciding based an which side is longer. The longer side may have more things but they might be minor.

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